Spitting Image

-"Y'think the rest of the world uses soccer euphemisms?"
"Besides SCORE!?"
-"Yeah like 'header' or 'bend it'?"

"I was seventeen years old. It was Saturday night and we were parked on a drive in a long line of dozens of other cars with their parking-lights on and couples making out.
-"Making out? Lights-on!"

"It was the first time I 'helped' a woman...girl...Judy...have an orgasm. It surprised us both."
-"Ah sweet mystery of life at last I've found you!"

"Usually before 11pm a cop car would slowly cruise the drive with it's blinking lights and that would be the signal it was time to go. But this night two guys, who might've been plain-clothes cops, Mutt and Jeff, walked up to our car. At that time Judy was fully enjoying the afterglow of this new experience, kinda hanging off my shoulder. The two men looked somewhat concerned until they got a closer look and then without cracking a smile told us the park was closing. Thinking back they were both small for cops and hadn't been driving a Ford.
The next day over the phone Judy exclaimed, then explained, how she never felt anything like that before."

-"While you racked your brains trying to remember what it was you did... what WERE you touching and when exactly did you touch it?"

"That Wednesday Judy told me about one of her older-brother's friends who happened to be visiting as she came home from school. Her brother and this friend both in their 20's belonged to a motorcycle gang, one of the more law-abiding ones. Judy was surprised at the attention this guy was showing her. She's known him for years, he's been over at the house many times but this was the first time he's said more than a few words to her. In fact he was flirting with her. She couldn't understand it."